Gossip
by Itaweasel-hime
Summary: This was not what Sakura had expected, least of all from a certain Uchiha heir. Non-Massacre au.


Disclaimer: I just checked. I still don't own Naruto. :O

* * *

This was so ridiculous. Completely, utterly uncool. And he did not like it one bit. In fact, he hated everything about his current affliction. Of all people, of course, it had to be _her. _She would laugh at him, if she had an inkling of his attraction, but it could not be helped. His father would wisely tell him that these things just _happen. _His mother, on the other hand, would jump at the chance of grandchildren. Not that _this, _whatever it was, was ever going to get that far. She would never think more of him than an acquaintance. When he thought about it, perhaps it was better that way.

He was ANBU captain at thirteen, heir to the head of the Uchiha clan, and here he was, too insecure to speak to a girl. It was pathetic. Not that knowing this was going to change anything. It was best to admire her from afar, rather than embarrass himself, because that was all confessing to her would do. He had no chance with someone like her, and he knew it.

She had nearly the entire village of shinobi drooling after her wherever she went. He was another of the hundreds of possible suitors she had, though he was not so obvious about his feelings. In all honesty, he would rather her not know the power of his affections, in fear of her running away faster. As it was, she was probably bewildered by the attentions he gave against his better judgement. He had no way of telling the girl that he simply could not help it.

She was just too damn beautiful for her own good, and strangely enough, it was effecting him much more than he preferred it to. It was so distracting, and he had no idea what he should do to ease his muddled mind. It was so hard, falling in love with someone like Haruno Sakura, who, apparently, was much better at remaining professional than even him.

Everyone poked fun at him, even those within his own family, at how indifferent he could act around people, and now, he had met his match. Either she was too oblivious of his approaches of her, which he hoped not, or she did not care for him at all. The latter seemed much more probable to him, as bizarre as the situation was. Usually, it was not him that was pursuing someone, though in his case, he really was not trying to, but most of the time, he had to deflect the unwanted, simpering fangirls he managed to collect.

All the same, Uchiha Itachi had fallen hard, for the most unlikely of women. A girl with obnoxious, pink hair and green eyes to match. He abhorred ever last moment of it, but all the same, wanted nothing more but to scoop her up into his arms, press his lips into hers and-

Itachi shook his head, ridding himself of such inappropriate musings. This action did not go unnoticed by his cousin and brother, whom were both sitting across from him in the Uchiha manor, sipping at tea and sharing a snack of onigiri. They shared a secret look, which Itachi did not notice, being far too busy with his thoughts. Both already knew what that glazed look in his eyes meant.

He was thinking about that mystery girl again. Neither male knew who exactly she was, only that there was someone out there, some unfortunate soul that had attracted Itachi. On a personal note, Shisui did not mind so much that his baby cousin had _finally _found someone he considered worthy of his time, and at times, would wonder at Itachi's self-control. He could very easily become a Buddhist monk.

Now, Sasuke understood that every man faced this at some point in their life, that desperation to gain the affection of someone, and he was sympathetic for his elder brother. Itachi was not handling it well, and it was clear to anyone who knew him. Whoever the girl was, she must have certainly been something, because Sasuke had never seen his brother like that before. While it was a little scary, he sincerely hoped his brother would settle down, so their parents would stop their constant complaining on their lack of grandchildren, despite his being _twenty-seven years old, Itachi!_

Frankly though, Shisui was over it. Itachi had been very clearly pining for several months, and still had made no move of his own. The poor girl (or man, he feared to think; Itachi had moments where Shisui was certain he _had _to be gay) probably had no clue that Itachi-chan was blubbering all over the place, fantasizing about her. He could not help snorting.

What kind of fantasy would a prude like Itachi ever have about a woman?

Itachi looked at his older cousin, perplexed by the expression on his face. Shisui did not look him in the eye, however, staring outside the kitchen window instead, and blushing bright red in a way that Itachi hardly _wanted _to know what was on his mind. Yet, he could not help asking. "Is there something the matter, Shisui?"

Shisui gave him an exasperated look. As if Itachi did not already know. "Clearly, there is, Itachi-chan. Don't pretend nothing's up, because we're not stupid." He said, clearing his throat, then turning to the other male at the table. "Right, Sasuke-chan?"

Sasuke grimaced, not particularly liking that his cousin still called him a little boy, but bit his tongue. Shisui had a point, and he was quite curious to know who could have transfixed his older brother. He nodded his head in agreement, his weighty glance bearing down on Itachi. Of course, Itachi was the one he had learned that awful habit from, and so it was practically unhelpful.

"I don't know what you mean." Itachi replied stonily, lacing his long, slender fingers together and resting his elbows on the tabletop. Sasuke recognized that move very easily; it meant that Itachi did not, _would not, _speak further on the subject, and that it should be dropped.

Shisui gathered this much as well, but did not have the heart to care. "You're such a liar, Itachi-chan. What I meant was you _obvious _girl problem. You've been worshiping her from a distance for much too long." He replied airily. Itachi's eyebrow ticked with annoyance. His only hope was that neither male at the table realized just who they were talking about. He was not in the mood for a murderous Sasuke.

"There is no problem, Shisui. There is no girl."

Sasuke and Shisui shared a disbelieving look. Apparently, he was going to deny everything, until his buttons were pushed far enough, at least. How long that would take, neither knew. Much longer than the time they had on their hands. Nonetheless, now that it was brought up, it could not be dropped again so quickly.

"Aniki, you've been out of it for months. If it's not a woman, then I should warn our parents about drug use." Sasuke stated with equal calmness as his elder brother. Shisui hooted at this comeback, raising his hand for a high-five, but being cruelly ignored. Neither brother noticed.

"I have no need to use substances to relieve stress, Otouto." Itachi snapped back dryly. Shisui rose an eyebrow, a small smirk lighting on his face. This interrogation session would last much shorter than originally assumed. Itachi was not nearly as collected as he usually was.

"See what I mean, Itachi-chan? This is definitely a problem you have. Thankfully, I know the cure." Shisui commented sagely. Itachi did not really want to hear what his cousin claimed to be the _cure _for whatever _problem _he had, but also knew that Shisui would speak his mind, no matter how inappropriate his comment was. It truly was a bad habit.

"What you need to do is pick that girl up," He pauses for emphasis, "And bang her." Both Uchiha brothers stared at him, wishing they had not heard him say that. It did not bother Shisui though, he was already well used to their treatment of him. "There's no way in hell any girl could ever say no to _you." _

Itachi really wished his cousin had not said that. "I can think of one." He muttered under his breath, taking a last sip of his tea, then standing up gracefully. Perhaps his cousin was right, though. So, maybe what Shisui suggested was a little too much, Itachi was not nearly prepared to _bang _Sakura, as he had so intelligently put it, but if they could tell something was wrong, he needed to do something. Possibly, he could work through it if he acted on his impulses. If he courted her.

"Oh, really, there's a girl who wouldn't do anything to get in your pants? Name her." Shisui laughed back at him as he walked through the kitchen. Itachi turned to look back at them, still sitting at the table and nursing their mugs of tea. Sasuke looked genuinely curious, knowing Itachi was not one to lie, or say something that was without meaning. Shisui, however, was completely joking, and almost daring him to name the girl that he was so enraptured with.

Itachi was hardly one to back down from a dare. "Haruno Sakura."

The room had stilled completely, the two males gaping up at him in shock. Sasuke swore he felt his heart stop for a moment, before it started beating into overdrive, loud enough for the other habitants of the room to hear it as well. Shisui gawked at his cousin for a moment, before breaking out in laughter. Just as Itachi expected him to.

With that, he walked from the room, slid on a pair of sandals, and exited the house, undoubtedly to seek out Sakura.

* * *

The moment Itachi stepped from the room, Shisui scrambling after him, Sasuke dropped everything and disappeared from the kitchen in a small _poof. _He could not allow his older brother to beat him to Sakura's apartment, not when it could very easily ruin everything. What team seven had was a comfortable relationship with each other, and if Itachi decided to jump in and start screwing Sakura, it would make things awkward for everyone. Especially him.

He reappeared at Sakura's front door, looking around the street to be sure that Itachi was not in sight. Thankfully, there were no broody, dark, Uchiha heirs in sight, so with that small comfort, he opened the door and stepped in, only wishing after that he had knocked first. Circled in the center of her living room, Sakura, Ino and Hinata were all painting their nails and giggling, with nothing on but tees and panties.

They realized his presence moments later, squealing because they had been caught half undressed. Sasuke stumbled back, seeing Sakura's deathly glare, and ended up crashing against the closed door. His kunoichi teammate stood, stepping over to where he was standing, beet red in the face and trying to seem calm and collected, like his brother would have. Besides, he had a mission of sorts to complete, no matter what state Sakura was in.

And it was better than his brother barging in like this, and seeing Sakura half naked, though Sasuke was having a hard time imagining Itachi getting a nose bleed.

Determined to say something before Sakura punched him into a pulp, he rose his hands in a sign of defeat. "Sakura, you are in danger."

The three girls stared at him, before bursting into laughter at his claim. Sakura, however, crossed her arms over her chest, not buying what he said at all. A smirk donned her plump lips, and even without the use of his sharingan, Sasuke already knew there was chakra collecting in her hand, prepared to punch him through the door, and then fifty feet down the road. Flattened completely against her front door, he whispered, "My brother is coming for you now."

He really did not want anyone but Sakura to know about his current predicament, but she loudly replied, saying, "Who, Itachi? What does he want? I've never done anything to him."

Sasuke did not answer, instead glancing at Sakura's two friends, who were blowing on their fingernails to dry them faster. "Get rid of them." He finally said, earning an angry screech from Ino, and a small, embarrassed frown from Hinata. Neither girl wanted to leave, and that was not because they were likely to ruin their freshly painted nails by pulling on a pair of shorts. They were there _first. _Uchiha Sasuke was just going to have to wait his turn.

Sakura frowned at his calloused demand, but knew something was seriously wrong, if he would not say anything in front of Ino and Hinata. That could only mean it was a matter she would never even tell them. She turned to the two other girls with a smile. "Hey, girls, I'm going to get more ice cream out of the freezer. Everyone okay with strawberry?" She asked, getting two thumbs up, then walking into her small kitchen.

Sasuke stared after her in confusion, before it finally struck him that she was only going to get ice cream because she was curious to hear what he had to say. Having come to this conclusion, he followed after her, sighing to himself before walking through the small archway into her pint-sized kitchen. Sakura was sitting up on what small counter space she had, arms still crossed against her chest. He crossed his arms as well, leaning against the fridge across from her.

"My brother is coming for you." He repeated, much to her chagrin.

She growled, frustrated that she had to ask, once again, "What the hell did I ever do to Itachi?"

Sasuke shrugged, not really knowing the answer without having asked Itachi. "Apparently, you've done something, because he's walking here now."

Sakura growled under her breath. "Is he angry or something?"

Sasuke shook his head. "No," He paused for a moment.

"My older brother intends to court you."

A shriek could be heard from down the street.

* * *

Shisui struggled to tug on his sandals and catch up with his younger cousin. Itachi, however, was serenely walking down through the Uchiha compound, his hands stuffed into his pockets, as if everything was normal. He should have expected a person like Itachi to act like that. Always calm about anything he did.

"Hey, Itachi-chan, are you serious about Sakura?" He asked, catching up easily. Itachi gave him a look, which clearly meant the answer should have been obvious. Oh, right. This was Itachi. He was serious about everything down to the tea he drank. Of course he was going to be serious about his pursuing Sakura. Shisui always did hate how Itachi could so easily make him feel stupid.

"Hey! There's no need to be like that." Shisui whined childishly, earning him another one of Itachi's infamous _looks. _Obviously, his cousin had wanted to make his journey to Sakura's apartment in relative peace. It was a shame then that Shisui was not going to allow that. He wanted to know more.

"Come one, Itachi-chan. Can you really blame me? This is the first time in twenty-seven years that you have shown any interest in a woman. Your parents will be thrilled to know you've finally found someone you want to settle down with, and now you won't have to deal with their constant bugging. Honestly, everyone in the clan is tired of hearing that you need to _procreate." _

Itachi's tone was icy in answering. "My parents are not to know about Sakura yet." The last thing he wanted was for her to be scared away by nasty, clan politics. Shisui, and perhaps Sasuke, would not have so much of a problem accepting whatever relationship he entered with Sakura, but like every other clan, the Uchiha had traditions. Like marrying those within the clan. Sakura would be attacked by his clan, especially the females, from day one, and until they had something of a stable relationship, if it were even possible, Itachi was not going to risk it.

Shisui was instantly sobered by Itachi's tone of voice. His cousin had put much more thought into what was happening than he had expected.

They continued in a stifling silence, stuck in their own thoughts, before they finally entered the street Sakura lived on, and heard a familiar voice screaming at the top of her lungs. Itachi lurched forward, dashing to where the voice had come from, and dreading to learn what Sasuke had said to sabotage his chances with Sakura. He reached the front door within seconds, and anxiously pressed his ear to the wood to hear what was happening within.

He heard the voice of a certain Yamanaka Ino shout, "Hey, Forehead! What the hell did that idiot tell you?"

This was abruptly followed by a stream of incoherent yells, and the sounds of what he assumed was Sasuke being shoved around. Perhaps he should not say anything, and turn around while he still could. It seemed like a safer route, to ignore his longing and go elsewhere.

Unfortunately, his cousin had gained the power of reading his mind, and before he could run off, knocked on the door. Suddenly, everything in the house went utterly silent. "Sakura-chan, I think my baby cousin wanted to talk to you!" Shisui called in a sing-song voice, much to Itachi's horror. Now there was no escaping fate.

Almost suddenly, the door flew open to reveal an extremely distressed Sakura, wearing nothing more than an oversized T-shirt and (hopefully) something beneath it. Itachi's mouth went completely dry, and to make matters worse, Shisui proceeded to shove him through the door and into the partially naked Sakura. He really should not have said anything earlier.

"Forehead, you have an awful lot of visitors today." Ino commented slyly. Sakura did not reply, but rather, grabbed Itachi's wrist, slammed the door shut in Shisui's irritating face, and stomped down the hall into her room. The moment that door, much like the other, was shut with a resounding crash, a yelling fit began.

"I don't know what the fuck you were thinking, but that was totally uncool. You sent you freaking brother to do you bidding? If you wanted to pick me up like any other chick, then you should have caught me at a bar, dumb ass!" She roared, loud enough for the other people in the house to hear as well. Itachi quirked an eyebrow, a dissatisfied frown marring his aristocratic features.

"I'm not some girl you can waltz up to, charm, and then fuck into oblivion! I have way more class than that, thank you very much! Next time you want to hit on a girl, why don't you do it in person, Uchiha!"

Itachi glared. Just as she was about to start another fit of shouting, he knew he had to get her to quiet herself. He did the only thing he could think of to stop her. She was immediately silenced when he pressed his thin lips onto hers. Her eyes widened in surprise, before she melted into him, whatever anger she had gone.

Hesitantly, he lifted his mouth from hers. "Would you shut up?" He breathed, before she pulled him down for more.

The rest of the afternoon was spent _procreating, _as Shisui would so snidely say.

* * *

A/N: Lol, this idea just attacked me, and I had to write it down. I know I have other projects to be working on, but it had to be done. I will try to update The Best Medicine and EVIL asap. :D


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